Monday 14 September 2009

"As I went back over my diaries when I finally went to leave this godforsaken place..."


As I went back over my diaries when I finally went to leave this godforsaken place, you name cropped up for over a year. Two notebooks full of your name everywhere. And what a passion we shared! A passion of no limitations. As I flicked through the pages I was intrigued to how this passion played out, it is a good dramatic story that changed my life. I still cannot see you without getting a bolt of emotions running through me. Although our passion is long gone and the love we felt... ..well, do those things really die? Isn't there always a flame that lingers on?
What I wanted to say is that I'm glad I got to experience this passion in my life. That crazy film passion, which burns you to the core and makes you do things as if possessed.
At the time, I didn't see your love for me. I thought you were fooling me; the things you said and did were extraordinary in everyway. But as I see it now, when I read through our story, is that you suffered just as badly as I did when it ended. That your love was just as great as mine.
Even though it left me with scars I thought never would heal, it was greater than I could have ever imagined or thought. Hatred is also a passion feeling....guts out, blood on the floor, stains never wash out. That's what it was. A shaken and stirred rollercoaster ride.
I am far, far away now, but oh, so near. It was harder to let go than I thought."

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